To mediate or not to mediate (your divorce).

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C.

In recent years, many couples have been drawn to mediation as an alternative to going to court. It is an attractive option because of the benefits it offers: less expense, a faster divorce, confidentiality, a less formal way of divorcing and more control for the couple when it comes to making decisions about their assets and their futures.

However, mediation is not appropriate in every case. While mediation is highly effective, it is most effective in cases involving collaborative couples, parties who are willing to negotiate and compromise in good faith.

When is mediation a good option?

Generally, mediation is optimal for cases where the parties get along, at least to a certain extent. In addition, mediation is ideal for cases where:

• The parties have some idea of what they want and what the other party wants
• The parents have no strong objections to compromising and negotiating
• The couple understands that they will get some things they want but not others
• There are no extreme factors like domestic violence or other criminal activity

In essence, a successful mediation requires parties who are willing to work together to solve problems and who do not need help beyond the scope of what the mediator can provide.

When is mediation not the best choice?

In some cases, mediation is not appropriate, and traditional litigation is the best course of action for a divorcing couple. For example, in cases where:

• There is domestic violence or any other alleged criminal activity
• There is significant conflict, and attorneys for the parties have discovered lies on the part of one or both parties, whether withholding financial information or other inappropriate activities
• The couple cannot see eye to eye, and their goals, relating to what they wish to get out of the divorce, are extremely far apart from the other person

In such cases, judges and court staff can help. Courts provide a structured process, where you are usually represented by counsel and where you can provide evidence, testimony and make your arguments. At the end of the process, the judge will decide based on the law and the evidence provided to the court.

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