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On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Going through a divorce is stressful and difficult. The rules around child support can add complexity. Read below to clarify some common misconceptions. Will my ex be allowed to stop paying child support when my child turns 18? No. According to the State of New York’s Child Support division, the noncustodial parent must pay child support until the children turn 21. Is child support just a cash payment every month? Not necessarily. Many noncustodial parents contribute toward health care insurance, child care expenses, and out-of-pocket medical costs in addition to paying monthly cash transfers. Is a biological parent the only one who can receive child support? No, any legitimate caretaker can apply to have child support sent to them. This includes legal guardians, grandparents, relatives, caretakers, and even the child themselves. What if my ex disappears and/or refuses to pay? The Child Support Enforcement Unit (CSEU) of the State of New York works hard to ensure that child support goes to the person who deserves it. In the event of a parent who flees town or the state, there can be a combination of state and federal enforcement actions designed to find the person. Do I have to trust that my ex will pay me every month? No. The Support Collection Unit (SCU) will automatically deduct your child support from their paycheck. The SCU also has access to lottery winnings, tax returns, assets and bank accounts. The child support system seeks to ensure you have everything you need so that your child can live a normal life after divorce.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. The relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren is precious and important. In many cases, grandparents not only provide love but emotional and financial support as well. Sometimes a divorce can overlook grandparents’ rights. If your son or daughter’s divorce has resulted in your seeing your grandchildren less than you would like, you can petition the court for formal visitation rights. What are the requirements to be able to file for visitation? The state of New York will grant visitation to biological and adoptive grandparents, as long as they find that the visitation order is in the best interest of the child. Before filing, the grandparent should be able to prove that: The pre-existing relationship with their grandchild was substantial and positive The children’s parents are preventing regular visits What else will the court consider? Once you establish a positive relationship, the court will consider other factors: The child’s age and wishes The distance between the grandchild’s home and visits with the grandparents The health and well-being of everyone involved The relationship between the custodial parent and the grandparents Can a grandparent file for full custody? In New York state, grandparents who wish to file for custody of their grandchildren must either have the consent of the parents or prove that there are extraordinary circumstances. Extraordinary circumstances may include: Child abuse or neglect Child abandonment Disruptions of custody for extended periods Grandparents are an important part of their grandchildren’s lives, and that relationship deserves support and protection. Filing for court-ordered visitation can assure both you and your grandchild that your relationship will continue despite the divorce.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Creating your custody arrangement can be overwhelming. Of course, you want to spend as much time as possible with your children, especially over the holidays. Incorporating vacations and holidays into your custody agreement is vital to avoid conflicts in the future. New York offers parenting plan options Think about your typical holiday plans and traditions to help you determine what is in the best interests of your children. There are three standard custody schedules for dividing parenting time over the holidays. A shared schedule gives both parents time This custody plan enables each parent to spend some time with their children during vacations, holidays or birthdays. You may address one-day holidays by having the children spend the morning with one parent and the evening with the other. You can divide longer breaks by giving each parent a few days. An alternating schedule divides time annually Most people choose an arrangement that alternates holiday time between the parents each year. In this type of schedule, the children spend one holiday with you, then spend that holiday with their other parent the following year. A fixed holiday schedule splits time by specific events You may like this option if you and your spouse prioritize different holidays or if you want your children to maintain annual traditions. You and your spouse determine which holidays each of you will spend with your children. You want your children’s school breaks to be positive events. Knowing your rights is the key to ensuring a fair child custody agreement that works for your family and establishes holiday parenting time.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Even if you and your spouse agree to a divorce, the entire process is far from simple. Though it helps to start off on a good note, it is far more likely to finalize the divorce without stress, anxiety and tension. There are several things that can derail your divorce proceedings. Knowing about this can help you prepare a plan for how to address them or how to avoid them altogether. 1. Alimony Under state law, either party can request spousal maintenance during a divorce. This is a payment that one spouse will make to the other, either during the divorce or continuing after. The facts of the case will influence the court and decision concerning spousal maintenance, but it is generally awarded as a temporary, permanent or rehabilitative order. 2. Child support The court determines the monthly child support sum, and because the payments continue until a child’s eighteenth birthday, this amount is financially important. The spouse who pays the order can experience significant financial hardships over the long term, while the receiving spouse may not believe the amount ordered is enough. This is an extremely contentious point during divorce cases. 3. Custody Children seem to get caught between spouses, and when there is no compromise, custody battles get difficult. The court may determine which spouse receives primary custody, but in some cases, children are able to make the decision for themselves. An uncontested divorce is the simplest option for legally parting ways, but this is not always possible. Sometimes, pursuing your interest in court is the only way to handle your divorce.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Divorce is a separate concern from parenthood. It does not matter how you feel about the other person raising your offspring. You each still care about your babies with all your heart. As a parental unit that no longer wishes to be together, you must determine a custody schedule. Mothers and fathers particularly want to spend holidays with their kids. Deciding on the fairest, most agreeable situation is a challenge. Several options are worth discussing. Alternating years One arrangement that might work is trading off holidays. This schedule is easy to remember, as one parent gets odd-numbered years and the other gets even years. Plus, you never miss children during Thanksgiving or Christmas more than once in a row. Splitting holidays Another possibility is having children spend half of every holiday with both parents. This division means you each get time with little ones during these magical days. A downside, however, is it requires planning. Knowing how to talk with your ex is mandatory for this to work. It also means more traveling. This arrangement works best if you live near your former spouse. Assigning holidays Some choose to allow their previous partners to have specific holidays outright. In exchange, they get to have others. This tack might make sense if you feel partial toward one celebration over another. Maybe you cannot go without seeing children opening presents from Santa. If this is the case, consider giving the other parent Turkey Day. Dividing holidays is a sensitive topic, yet it bears discussion. Speak with one another openly about the possibilities.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. If your ex-spouse is harassing you or threatening your safety, you can apply for a protective order. A protective order legally restricts another person’s contact with you. Courts order parties to refrain from contact in various situations, but the most common use is in a divorce. New York has different options available to get a protective order. Types of protective orders The Family Court in New York can issue an order of protection for married persons, related persons,  those who share a child or otherwise have an intimate relationship. To apply to the Family Court for restraint against someone, you will need to fill out a Family Offense Petition. The Criminal Court can also issue an order of protection. The prosecuting attorney must petition the court on behalf of the alleged victim of the harassment. The Supreme Court of New York has the authority in ongoing criminal and divorce cases to rule on a motion for cause to prevent one party from contacting the other. Scope of declaration A declared restraint against someone can be for a limited duration or longer. Courts will usually grant a temporary order at an initial hearing and then extend it or make it final as the entire case gets heard. A limited protective declaration can prevent specific actions. A full order of protection prohibits all contact with the named party. If you are going through a divorce and your former spouse threatens you, you need to pursue the appropriate legal remedies to stop any harassment.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. New York courts recognize that your family circumstances change over time and that custody orders sometimes must change as well. Before you attempt to modify a child custody order, know the procedure in place to protect yourself and your child from a drawn-out legal case. Requirements for modification You must prove that a substantial change in circumstances occurred in the lives of either parent or your child. Examples include: The relocation of a parent to a different city or state A significant increase or decrease in income A huge change in the child’s schedule A request from a child over the age of 12 to revise the order A court does not want to see you shortly after it makes an order unless something severe happened. Standard for modification Your child’s best interests determine your eligibility to modify a custody order. Before making a decision, the court focuses on the issues you raise and considers many factors, such as the home environment, financial situation and educational opportunities provided by each parent. Helpful documentation To demonstrate the need for a modification, you will need to collect relevant evidence and present it to a judge. Keep all records related to the custody of your child, including witness statements, photos, videos, documents or voice recordings. A detailed journal with dates and events is also beneficial. Changes to a custody order often prompt changes to child support orders as well. Just as it is with a custody order, either parent has the right to file a petition requesting a modification to a child support order.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Few things will destroy a marital relationship more quickly or more thoroughly than adultery. When one spouse becomes physically intimate with someone from outside the marriage, the foundation of trust and fidelity that has held up the relationship may start to crumble. Those suspecting infidelity often wait to take action until they are certain that their spouse has cheated. What are some of the more common ways that people uncover their spouse’s infidelity? Will an uncovered affair have an impact on New York divorce proceedings? The proverbial lipstick on the collar One of the more common ways that people get caught cheating is by returning to the marital home with some kind of physical evidence of their recent encounter on their bodies. Perhaps there is a smear of makeup on their clothing or remaining traces of lipstick on a man’s lips. Even unfamiliar cologne or perfume may confirm someone’s worst suspicions. An unexplained second phone or a new lock on an existing one When someone locks down their mobile phone when they previously didn’t care if you quickly accessed it to use their camera, they will usually have a reason for making that change. Shutting you out of a device or locking you out of accounts that you used to have access to could be an attempt to hide bad conduct. A secret second phone is often used solely for that purpose. Missing funds or unexplained charges Conducting an affair isn’t cheap, and spouses often notice the financial evidence. Unexplained or questionable charges on your credit card or frequent cash withdrawals from your bank account could be warning signs. What will adultery mean if you divorce? Most couples divorcing in New York will seek no-fault divorces. However, adultery is one of the fault-based grounds for the dissolution of your marriage. Those with evidence of adultery could pursue a fault-based divorce or trigger an infidelity clause in a marital agreement. Generally, infidelity doesn’t have much of an impact on property division, support or custody decisions in New York divorces. However, a judge can consider infidelity and other spousal misconduct when dividing your property. If your spouse has spent marital assets on their affair, that could impact how the courts divide your property or the resulting debts. Learning more about your rights if you do get divorced could help you if you have serious suspicions about your spouse’s adherence to their marital vows.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Divorce is always a difficult time in life, no matter how long your marriage lasted. In New York, the same laws apply to all marriages of couples who meet the residency requirements. The state recognizes fault and no-fault grounds for divorce. No-fault grounds divorce in New York You are eligible to seek a no-fault divorce in New York if you and your spouse separated at least a year ago. Alternatively, if you cite an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage going back at least six months, you can file for a no-fault divorce in the state. Lastly, couples living apart for a minimum of one year can seek a divorce after filing a separation agreement. Fault-based divorce in New York When one spouse believes the other is to blame for the deterioration of the union, he or she can seek a divorce based on fault. These divorces require proof that the other party caused the marital breakdown. Fault-based divorces typically take longer and cost more due to the need to prove fault at trial. The spouse not deemed at fault can benefit from this additional time during custody and property decision-making. New York allows at-fault divorces based on the following grounds: adultery abandonment for over one year imprisonment for three or more years mental or physical abuse No one goes into a marriage with the expectation of divorce, but the reality is that it happens frequently in today’s society. Understanding your state’s laws can help you make smart choices as you embark upon this challenging journey.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Even though most parents prioritize the emotional well-being of their kids, everyone makes mistakes. You may even lie awake at night thinking of things you could have or should have done differently. Still, as long as you provide for the best interests of your kids, you may have a good shot at receiving the custody arrangement you want. Sometimes, though, divorced or divorcing parents use the kids as pawns. That is, one parent either intentionally or inadvertently tries to turn the children against their other parent. Known as parental alienation, this type of behavior may be catastrophic for a child custody case. Common examples of parental alienation Parental alienation is not usually a single comment or off-handed action, as alienating behaviors are typically part of a disturbing pattern. Still, if you or your children’s other parent do any of the following regularly, parental alienation may be an issue: Preventing the other parent from seeing the kids Excluding the other parent from ordinary parent-child activities and functions Telling the kids they cannot trust the other parent Making up false information about the other parent Asking the children to choose sides or spy on the other parent Your child custody case If you and your children’s other parents cannot come up with an acceptable custody agreement, a judge may have to intervene. In New York, judges must make custody determinations that align with the best interests of the involved children. Because it often constitutes psychological child abuse, parental alienation is not in any child’s best interests. It can be difficult to change behaviors, but you do not want to engage in parental alienation. Ultimately, though, if your children’s co-parent continues to misbehave, evidence of his or her parental alienation may persuade a judge to award custody to you.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. Couples who have marital agreements know exactly what will happen when they divorce. They already set their property division rules in writing in their prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. The majority of couples divorcing in New York will not have an agreement dictating what they do with their assets, meaning they will have to arrange a settlement or have a judge handle the process for them. Even if you hope to resolve your property division dispute outside of court, understanding how New York approaches property division will give you more leverage during that conversation. After all, if you cannot reach an agreement, then you will have to go to court and apply the state rules to your assets. How does property division work in a New York divorce? The courts apply state law to your assets and debts A family law judge tasked with dividing your assets will use the state’s equitable distribution standard as a guide for the process. The goal is for the judge to review your disclosed assets and debts to fairly divided your marital property between you. Only marital assets are subject to division. The wages earned by either spouse during the marriage are typically marital property, and the same is true of everything you purchased during the marriage. Even your credit cards or student loans taken out during the marriage with the intent of supporting the family could be marital debt that the judge will have to split. Assets you owned before you got married and anything that you inherited will usually be separate property that the courts will not divide. However, if there has been commingling of those separate assets with marital assets, then those separate assets could also be vulnerable during the property division process. How can you determine who gets what? Unfortunately, there is no reliable way to exactly predict the distribution of your assets in a contested New York divorce. Much is left to the judge’s discretion, and everything from the length of your marriage to your custody arrangements can influence what a judge believes is fair and appropriate. The only way to retain control over the division of your property is to reach a settlement with your spouse outside of court, possibly through mediation if necessary. Thinking about your hopes for the future can help you establish practical goals for property division in pending New York divorce.

On Behalf of The Law Offices of Joseph H. Nivin, P.C. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are not able to come up with a custody arrangement during your divorce negotiations, you may have to ask a judge to decide for you. In New York, judges have a legal obligation to determine what is in the best interests of the children. Parental alienation certainly is not. According to many child psychologists, parental alienation is a form of emotional child abuse. When a parent engages in alienating behaviors, he or she actively tries to turn the kids against the other parent. If you have evidence of parental alienation, a judge may intervene to protect your kids. How does parental alienation look? It is impossible to identify a single behavior as parental alienation, as this type of parental misconduct requires a pattern or practice of bad acts. Still, if your ex-spouse does one or more of the following regularly, you may be the victim of parental alienation: Telling your kids you are a bad, untrustworthy or dangerous person Asking your children to spy on you and disclose details Preventing you from attending normal parental functions and activities Prohibiting your kids from talking to you Keeping you from seeing your children How does parental alienation affect child custody? When determining what is in the best interests of the children, judges look at a number of factors. Nevertheless, a parent who sabotages the other parent’s relationship with the kids is probably not acting in their best interests. Ultimately, proof of alienating behaviors may give you legal grounds to seek sole custody, supervised visitation or other arrangements that do not harm the kids.