Every year, parents deal with struggles related to the holidays. Whether it’s because of school breaks, like spring or summer vacation, or holiday weekends (like Memorial Day weekend), it’s important to talk about how you want to share custody at those times.
It’s a good plan to talk to your ex-spouse about the holidays that are important to them first. For example, if your favorite holidays to celebrate are Halloween and Easter but your ex-spouse prefers Christmas and the Fourth of July, then you may be able to easily decide who has custody on those days.
What happens if you both want to have custody during the holidays?
It can be more difficult to work out a solution if both parents want to have custody on the same holiday, but that doesn’t mean one isn’t possible. Some possible solutions may be to:
- Split custody on the day of the holiday, such as by taking your child to a Fourth of July party in the afternoon and letting the other parent take them to a fireworks show.
- Switch holidays each year, so that you have the holiday you want one year and your ex-spouse gets it the next.
- Share the holiday by spending it together, even though you’re divorced. This may be possible if both parents are on good terms, even if they remarry.
- Let your children decide where to go. Your children may have a preference or even be interested in spending the holidays with friends or another family.
These aren’t the only possible solutions, but they are some that might work for you.
What should you do if you can’t come up with a custody schedule you agree on?
If you and your ex-spouse are unable to come up with a custody schedule on your own, you can go to court to allow a judge to decide on a schedule that will be best for your child. However, keep in mind that doing this will mean that you lose control of the outcome, and the custody schedule may not be what you had hoped. In most cases, it’s better for parents to settle their custody disputes outside court, so they get a say in the final schedule.